Demented
by uat
Summary: Naruto Uzumaki didn't know how crazy his life could be when he slipped out of his daily routine just a tiny bit. Itachi Uchiha never knew that he could be attracted to someone, anyone. Sasuke Uchiha however will enjoy this demented, fateful meeting. ItaNaru, shounen-ai with attempted humor. Expect unstable updates. Re-updated.
1. Never be without milk

There were certain things that the so called hyper and demented blond could not take. He did not like it when someone told him that he was good for nothing; he had been denied any kind of compassion in his early years until a very worried psychologist met him and gave all of his love to him just like father would to his son, so his dehydration of love in his early years resulted in him being very, _very_ stubborn. Whenever someone told him he couldn't accomplish a certain task he would hurl himself and do the task with the best he had, and the weird thing was that he would. Of course there were things he could not get, like the affection and love of Sakura Haruno but in the end they became best buddies something which turned out better than being lovers. He also wasn't fond of 'bastards' he would address them (even though he had many friends who fit the category, anyway moving on…), he couldn't understand why someone would want be a prick and stay a prick. For a long time he asked his other best friend Neji "What is so cool about being a bastard?" but so far he never got an answer other than a glare that offers him an agonizing death and a nice corner of a grave. Other things he did not like were being called a girl, being denied of his ramen and so on and on. And if there was something he loathed, it was someone bullying a child. Which brings us to the beginning of this blonde's dramatically life changing situation.

His day started like any other day, he being an unemployed masters student woke up at 10 AM feeling happy that it was weekend. He slowly got out of his bed trying to gouge his eyes off, murmuring how sleepy he was. After he took his morning shower he made himself ramen and ate the ramen praising the ramen god for the delicious substance in his mouth. He was content with his life until he realized that there was no milk left.

The blond looked to the fridge blankly. He remembered that yesterday milk in all of its glory was bought by him and again was _hidden _by him so that his feral roommate Kiba would not find and devour this precious liquid leaving him none at all. He glared and the spot where the milk was supposed to be right after he squealed in shock.

"That dog loving milk thief." He growled in anger "How can he? I mean he knows I need milk in the morning."

Naruto Uzumaki, the blond as you guessed, kicked the closest thing to him. His eyes widened when he heard a bowl being drifted pouring all of the liquids inside it. If Naruto was calm until that horrendous second, and he was not, seeing his milk poured on the floor from Akamaru's bowl was the last blow to him. Naruto fell on his knees and stared at the white liquid murmuring "Nandattebayo?" (why in Japanese with Naruto's accent). His head bumped into the fridge and he slowly turned his gaze to the note place on the fridge.

_Yo Naruto,_

_How are you man? I haven't seen you for one day you know._

_Oh, by the way I had to give Akamaru your milk._

_And that's all I guess. You can buy one from the market you know; probably you are acting like a drama queen on the floor crying after your milk and stuff._

_Toughen up and go buy milk. _

_Kiba the Wise_

Naruto stared at the note and stared and stared until his eyes landed on the word 'drama queen' for the fifth time.

"How… HOW can he?" Naruto wailed like a banshee "You smartass… oh, but you will regret the day you stole my milk to give it to a dog." Naruto smiled devilishly as he mixed some orange soda with Kiba's favorite drink; coke. He then placed the coke and took some napkins to clean the floor.

Now normally Naruto would never go to the market at… 10:48 in the morning especially on a nice and peaceful Saturday but since he had no milk and he had nothing else to do he got dressed, leaving the house with the key in his hand.

The market was owned by some old couple; nearly all of the customers were constants. Naruto hummed as he entered the market, he waved to the cashier Menma (who was another of his precious people). Menma smiled serenely and waved back while he was handing the money to the customer in front of him.

Naruto continued on humming as he led himself to the milk rayon. There he stood amazed, who knew there could be so many varieties of milk he wondered. For a reason Naruto was more ahem intrigued of the daily occurrences. He knew all of the milk's sold here, hell he even tasted most of them, not the soy milk eww he didn't even want to know how one would create that (1), but still he was always mesmerized by the variety of milk. Unknown to him it was. 11.13 PM.

"Are you going to stare at the milk rayon any longer?" a cold and arrogant voice inquired.

Naruto jumped and bit his lip as the voice rudely kicked him out of his train of thought concerning the varieties of milk. He turned his head to look at the rude man and his breathing stopped.

"Why are you looking at me like that dobe?" the rude one insisted.

Naruto's eyes widened in shock.

"Can't you at least act polite teme!" he yelled indignantly pointing his finger at the offender.

The offender's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Maybe if you were considerate enough to move out of my way I would act a lot nicer dobe." He said with a very evil smirk on his smug face. "I don't understand why an adult like you would need milk… Oh I actually do," he stopped as if he was thinking "you are an idiot." He deadpanned.

Naruto was about to scream but he shut himself. You see his major was psychology and it wouldn't look nice in his CV if it was written that he attacked a child. The blond man moved to the left and he nearly plucked all of his hair. The child, who looked like he was only 8 years old made a "Hnn." sound as he stood before the rayon almost immediately picking a milk cartoon.

"Bastard…" Naruto mumbled.

The boy turned to look at Naruto and again smirked like he was the son of the devil.

"Tsk, tsk. Watch your mouth dobe."

Naruto's eyes were not wide anymore they were looked protruding.

"You little!" (2)

But Naruto would never know what he himself was going to say because a loud voice stopped him, the boy and the whole customers in the market. A gunshot.

"This is a robbery folks!" A male voice shouted.

Naruto's eyes narrowed as he turned to look at the thug. The thug looked like he was a bandaged ape, holding a very fatal gun in his hand, which pointed to Menma. Menma's light colored eyes were pinned to the gun.

Naruto heard a slight gasp from the devil's son, the blond acted without thinking as he pulled the boy from his wrist to hide the boy behind himself. The boy did not struggle as if he understood the situation. Naruto's eyes searched through the people inside the market. One bonus of studying psychology was that one could understand most of the people's facial expressions, and Naruto did not believe that the ape man was alone; he couldn't be that idiot. He did not have to actually analyze as he found the second thug, a boyish looking man with brown spiked hair holding another gun albeit a smaller one. He then realized that the boyish thug was looking to the crowd, very concentrated.

His eyes stopped on a woman with long dark brown hair, walking jauntily but stealthily, who was looking at him. His breath stopped, this woman was acting like she was scared but her eyes were very determined, calm and she didn't look like she was determined to get out of here alive, her gaze was passing through him as if she was searching for something.

She slowly started to walk to his direction never taking her eyes off the blond. Naruto shakily took a breath as he came to his senses. The ape man was yelling about something as the boyish thug was holding his gun in a threatening posture. And probably the third thug, the brunette was walking to him.

"Zaku." She spoke in a calm and cold tone.

The boyish thug smirked. "Okay."

The ape man held Menma and threw him to the customers, now pointing his gun to them as Zaku, boyish thug, slid towards the brunette.

Naruto felt the small bastard's wrist tense.

The brunette was right in front of him now; she seemed as if she was calculating his potential. She then relaxed visibly.

"Sasuke, don't hide." She muttered loud enough for both Naruto and the boy to hear but quietly so that the others did not hear.

Naruto growled.

Zaku reached to them, grinning creepily.

"So we will have to kill two eh Kin?"

"Shut up idiot." She hissed. "If you hand over the kid we won't have to kill you."

Naruto heard a scream from the crowded side. However he did not sway his eyes from the two dangerous and shady people in front of him.

"No." he said simply and heard the devil, Sasuke he reminded himself, gasp again.

Kin rolled her eyes.

"Great a heroic moron." Zaku commented and pointed his gun to Naruto. "Buh-bye her –"

Naruto was no wrestler, or martial artist. But in his early days he had taken some wing tsun courses and he was not a sissy when it came to hand to hand combats. Reflexively his left hand clasped around the gun wielding hand of Zaku and turned it upwards while his right hand landed a very hard fist right to the man's face. Zaku fired the gun in a useless attempt but the gun was still pointed at nobody.

Kin suddenly jumped forward and grabbed the wrist of Zaku which Naruto was holding. Naruto growled and tried to shake the two thugs off.

Said task was not easy even if one of them was a girl.

"The Uchiha family will hunt you down for trying to assassinate me in such a foolish and not to forget weak way." The demon spawn, no Sasuke said coolly.

Still struggling Kin gritted out the words.

"They will never know you stupid brat."

Naruto forcefully threw the girl and kicked the guy in the guts; the gun flew over thankfully to his side...

"What the hell are you talking about?!" He asked very politely.

Kin smirked.

"That boy belongs to a dangerous group, for the good of the people we have to eliminate him…" Her voice was determined, eyes studying the blond.

Naruto looked to the boy who was now standing near him.

"But he is just a scrawny kid."

The said scrawny kid leaned over and took the gun.

"Silencer? And short distance… You guys are really idiots. What kind of thug would use this kind of guns?" He scoffed while pointing the gun towards one of them.

"Hey kiddo, I don't think that you should mess around…"

Sasuke looked at him unfazed.

"… with that kind of things." Naruto gulped who thought that a small brat like him could look menacing.

"And what let them kill me, dobe?" The boy asked with one eyebrow raised.

Kin interfered.

"You deserve to die… Murderer."

Naruto glanced over her, she seemed honest but Naruto was beyond these kinds of charades. While she was talking she seemed almost like she was re-reading a script and also the fact that an eight year old boy could not be a murderer, at least he hoped not. The Uchiha family on the other hand was a well known family and it was famous for its wealth. The infamous gossip about them was that they had some shady dealings going around. Naruto locked his gaze with Kin, even if the kids family were full of bastards, like him a part of his conscience murmured, no eight year old deserved to die.

"You should stop lying; I am not an idiot you know." Naruto said softly "He is just a kid what kind of monster are you to even think seriously of killing him. Even if you are blaming his family for anything it is unforgivable for you to attack a brat."

"Oi! What's taking so long losers?" The man at who was pointing his gun to the crowd in the market.

Naruto blinked as the woman called Kin pointed her bag towards Sasuke and without thinking he leapt over the boy.

A gun shot was heard as Naruto felt the bullet piercing his body. As he fell down losing consciousness he heard another gun shot. Mumbling to himself (3) he couldn't even panic as he finally was drowned in darkness.

(1)No offense meant I think soy milk is neat… I just couldn't think that Naruto would appreciate soy milk.

(2)Homer Simpson need I say more.

(3)"Stupid Kiba for stealing my milk… Stupid bastard… Idiotic thugs." But these mumbles were unheard in the middle of gun shots.

oldAN: Well this is my first attempt on a fanfic So I hope that you enjoyed it. I am not a good updater for that I apologize beforehand.

AN: Well after letting this fic stay incomplete for such a long time, and contemplating on whether I should erase or continue it, it seems İtaNaru won, so I will try to edit the existing 4 chapters and try to finish it. Which means, even more unstable updating is on the way.


	2. Unfateful Meeting

As the wind breezed through the leaves which were swept away a sweet sound, light steps were resonating creating an oddly calming symphony in the park. The man who was walking calmly gave a sense of fear as he passed by. Several women either too smitten or too preoccupied to understand the fatal vibe, were giving the man shy but predatory glances.

The man's long dark hair glimmered with the soft wind gracefully as he threaded his fingers through some of the hair which was in front of his face. If one could erase the murderously annoyed look in his eyes then this scene could actually be part of a shoujo manga when the heroine is saved by a handsome, dark and tall man.

A soft ring tone was heard as the man fished out his cell phone not realizing that his admirers were glaring at it, sensing a possible rival.

"Yes?" he said with a soft but oddly blank voice.

He nodded as the caller spoke.

"No I was waiting for otouto (1) I am available at the moment."

The man stopped walking as he took in his breath then let out.

"What?" with the coldness and deadly tone of his voice the admirers who were looking at him took a step backwards unconsciously.

One of the admirers noted how his hand clenched on his phone, while another realized that his eyes hardened and let out only one emotion, hatred. One other admirer noticed that his face which was perfectly blank now sported a dark scowl. As if they were told to most of the admirers turned their glances elsewhere. The minority of them, at this point they can be only called idiotic fan girls ahem women, glued their eyes on him.

"I will be there. Take care of him." The man closed his cell phone and started to walk away.

While his foolish admirers wanted to follow him, they couldn't bring their selves to the act. The man oozed death as he walked away and they, apparently, weren't foolish enough to chase him; unless they were suicidal.

Itachi Uchiha nearly gritted his teeth while he was driving to the hospital, but being himself he settled with horrifying whoever dared to look into his eyes. As he stopped by a red light he thought of what he had heard. Kisame, his close friend, had called him to tell that his brother had been assaulted by none other than his nanny in a market. Itachi had never trusted the woman but Deidara had persuaded him saying that her background was flawless. Apparently she was bought or was duping them from the beginning, Itachi concurred to himself that he didn't like both of the options. Thankfully some idiot had taken the bullet which was meant for Sasuke, and now they were both at the hospital. While the nanny was also at the hospital, the others had escaped. According to Kisame, Sasuke was only at the hospital since it was safe, and probably he wanted to even out his debt to his savior.

Itachi smirked. "Foolish otouto."

The boy hated the hospital rooms but at least it was better than the hallway where nurses would coo him. He hated people who acted like he was a child while he was not. His eyes wandered to the man who laid on the bed, unconscious. The dobe had actually saved him, he glared at him; as if he needed protection from an idiot like him. For a moment his glare softened as he remembered the man's speech. The man's blue eyes while he looked at Sasuke's so-called assassins reminded him of an animal ready to attack. And he didn't even stop to think about protecting him, hiding Sasuke behind him defiantly. He was braver than the most Sasuke deducted. Well maybe he wasn't that of an idiot.

_The young man fell with a thud as Sasuke's eyes narrowed, without any hesitation he pulled the trigger of the gun. As the bullet left the gun Sasuke had to take a step behind because of the thrust of the weapon._

"_My arm!" the so-called nanny wailed._

"_Shit…" the other man murmured as he jumped away from the boy's seeing range._

_The boy looked down to the dobe, assuring himself that he was not in a fatal condition he hid behind the milk rayon._

"_Don't move anyone it seems that someone did and got what's coming." A man said._

"_Dosu, problem… there is a problem!" Zaku said from where he was standing._

_The woman on the floor wailed. "More than a problem! I am shot! Idiots!"_

_Sasuke could swear that he heard this Dosu sweat as he was trying to put up a plan._

"_Well… then…" Dosu began but a distant voice of the siren made him stop in the middle of his sentence._

_When Sasuke leaned over to see what was happening he saw Zaku running to Dosu who was pointing his gun at the customers._

"_Sorry Kin, you know you would do the same." Dosu said and hit the window with his gun. Some of the customers screamed, the others were probably paralyzed with fear. Kin, the nanny, tried to say something at them but it seemed that her earlier scream had drained out all of her energy and her eyes shut, her breath coming out with a short, feverish tempo. _

_Sasuke took a step forward than stopped._

"_Only an idiot would follow them." He murmured to himself. He knew his inability in combat since he was a child, the best he could do was to use his intelligence and remember anything he could about the assassins. As some rushed out of the store he slowly walked and after wiping the gun with his shirt placed it in the hands of the idiot, he was a kid but that didn't mean that he was also an idiot. Even though he didn't know how to actually use a gun he had harmed his 'nanny', to be honest he had pulled the trigger in fear when he heard the shot, if he was to come out saying he shot her then the most people would foolishly assume that he was taught to use a gun._

_Sasuke looked at the wounded dobe softly. "I'm sorry." He clenched the fingers of the idiot and then took in a deep breath to shout "There are two wounded here!"_

_The boy almost smiled when he saw the paramedics and cops rush into the store along with a familiar figure. Well, all seemed alright now._

"No! Stay away that's my milk you dog perv!" The man mumbled loud enough for Sasuke to hear, waking him from his memories.

Scratch that, the man was a complete idiot.

Sasuke raised his eyebrow as he noted that since he was sleep talking the man must have come out of the drug induced sleep. What an odd guy. Sasuke silently walked through the man's belongings which were placed neatly on a chair. He checked the man's pocket and found what he was looking for, the wallet. Looking around him he opened the wallet in his hands eager to find an ID. He was not disappointed when he finally discovered a university ID through the crumpled bills, which stated the owner of the card was Naruto Uzumaki from the Psychology Deparment, Born in October 10, Age 20, and Blood Type: B.

Sasuke grinned and murmured, "Naruto Uzumaki huh? Fitting name for a dobe like him.".

"Hey kiddo, it ain't nice to look over his wallet ya know."

Sasuke glared at the man who had just entered the room.

"Hn."

The man sat near him.

"You were lucky that I heard about the incident." The man groaned "And you left your damn phone at home again, your bro won't be happy ya know. But called him and he's on his way."

"Hn." Sasuke placed the wallet to its place as he looked at the man, Kisame, who had a bluish skin with more than odd tattoos on his face. "And how did you hear about it?"

"This chick I've been bangin' is a cop so when she was called to the market with the warnin' that a certain Uchiha kid was found I just dropped in, good luck huh?"

Sasuke snorted.

"You were listening to the police line again weren't you?"

Kisame smiled.

"Nah just was tailin' ya. Orders from your bro."

Sasuke sighed.

"And why didn't you arrive immediately?"

"Was checkin' out a fine chick. And they were actually pretty good with the robbin'. Couldn't realize until later." Kisame continued to smile, foolishly if anybody asked Sasuke, "'sides, I was ordered to stay veeeeery behind, so there ya have it."

Sasuke's eyes wandered to the dobe.

"Do a check. Naruto Uzumaki."

"Ooh, kiddo's givin' orders. No worries Zetsu is on the job. You only wounded the wench by the way… but I told the cops that this guy shot the gun since we don't want any trouble for now." He stopped for a second then his smile widened eerily. "After all someone smart placed that gun in his hand."

"Hn."

"Oh took an interest in him did ya?"

"Hn."

The door was knocked as a nurse entered the room. She bowed and walked to the dobe looking at his condition.

"The patient is alright." She smiled and patted Sasuke's head unaware of his deadly glare "He must be up in any moment."

"Is that so… So what do ya say if we hang out a bit after work missy?" Kisame's smile widened even further showing his sharp teeth.

The smile on the woman's face faded, turning into a look between horror and shock.

"Erm… It's against the policies of our hospital sir. Anyway I am needed elsewhere." With a nervous laughter she nearly ran out of the door as Kisame whistled ogling her body.

Sasuke gave the man an appreciative look, the man knew how he hated strangers patting him or doing cute stuff to him.

"Wasn't that bad but ain't wild enough." The man said thoughtfully.

Unknown to them a certain blond had just opened his eyes and was staring at the white ceiling slowly realizing that he wasn't in his room. Slower than his first thought the events passed through his mind and he rose suddenly, eyes full of panic.

"GAAAAAH!" he yelled apparently his wound would hurt if he acted suddenly.

"Still full of life aint ya?"

"Huh?" Naruto stared at the odd bluish man. As if his skins color wasn't scary enough he had tattoos which looked like gills.

"Now now, before anything. You shot the wench kay?"

"Wench?"

"He means the woman who shot you." Sasuke said indifferently.

"Wasn't she aiming at yo…" Naruto froze and looked at the boy "YOU!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Chill out. She was shot and we don't wanna cause trouble for the kiddo do we?" Kisame patted Naruto's arm.

"Did she die?" Naruto nearly yelled but at the last moment uttered the words as whispers.

"Naah, only from her arm. 'sides it's self defense so no one will blame ya."

"I shot her?" Naruto looked at the man and demon child confused.

"That's what we are trying to tell you dobe."

"But… I don't remember. Hey are you placing the blame on me?!"

"He is a dumb one aint he?" Kisame sat on the bed "There'll be no courts and stuff, don't worry 'bout that. You will only known as the hero who saved a poor child."

"You mean the teme?" Naruto pointed at Sasuke.

Kisame chuckled.

"Pointing is rude dobe."

"Teme!"

"'Kay stop now. Do as I say so ya'll be alright."

Naruto looked at the man.

"And who are you?!"

"Kisame Hoshigaki, nice meetin' ya."

Naruto could almost rip out his scalp in frustration. Unknown to him two of the demons were looking at him weirdly since he was flapping his arms.

"Look…" he started the umpteenth time.

"You won't be sued."

"But…"

"C'mon ya'll be a hero not to forget ya'll get paid."

"Dammit! I-"

"Try to act mature."

"TEMEEE! Wh-"

"No swearin' kiddo wouldn't wanna make him mad."

Naruto took in a deep breath and let it out.

"Alright I accept just get out of my face."

Kisame patted him on the head. "Now was it that tough?"

Naruto glared at the man.

"It might make finding a job harder than it is already is."

Kisame smirked.

"No worries if you wanna we'll keep it discreet."

"Ok ok I get it just go away you smirking sashimi!"

"We can't, we're waitin' for his bro." Kisame pointed at Sasuke.

"Apparently my brother wants to meet you." Sasuke added.

"Don't tell me looks like the sashimi over there?!"

"Stop callin' me sashimi, whiny brat."

"Hey how dare you?!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Stop being immature."

Naruto pointed his finger at Sasuke.

"And you demon spawn teme act your age, you are freaking me out!"

"No thanks don't want to be an idiot like you."

"I AM NOT AN IDIOT!"

"It is good to see otoutou's savior is not fatally harmed."

Naruto turned to the door and stopped with a very intelligent "Huh?".

"Yo Itachi, here we were talkin'."

The man who looked like the older and blanker version of the teme smiled.

"Heard. Are you alright otoutou?"

Sasuke snorted. "Yes."

"Good."

Naruto couldn't register why he felt dread thread on his pure and good soul just as the man looked into his eyes, walking slowly near him.

"I am Itachi Uchiha, and I am grateful for your timely intervention. May I have your name?"

Naruto gulped. This man was like a panther which was ready for a good old antelope steak and suddenly Naruto felt like he might be the one for dinner.

Japanese: little brother.

oldAN: Ok… erm thanks for the reviews, alerts and favs. Heh was very happy, hopefully I'll continue to get your interest in this story of mine.

**AN:** Phew Thank you for your follows, favs and lovely reviews. I wasn't that sure in re-posting the story, glad that I did.

**Zakudeath: **Well I hope that I can keep that intrigue up and complete the fic. ^^ **777angeloflove**: Yeah my updating skills are very bad but will try to update more. **Sachiel Angelo:** I think a kid Sasuke is cuter than the grown up Sasuke, also I love soy milk more than normal milk actually. **Darklife21**: Sasuke is one of those unique people who can keep is bastardness even when he is an 8 year old, and Naruto is his catalyzer. **Lana231**: Well it seems that I will for some time this story was stuck in my head and I hate leaving thins incomplete and glad you like it. =) : Thanks =) I hope it actually goes somewhere good but that remains to be seen. **whovian212: **Oh he will, but being Itachi he might creep out Naruto more than necessary haha.


	3. Cryptic proposal

Kisame always knew that his best friend and boss was different from the others, the Akatsuki crew. Itachi was always disinterested whether it was a very important decision or life threatening; unless it was about his otouto. Generally Itachi was emotionally stunted, it probably had something to do with hanging out with his Uncle Madara when he was a child, or maybe as a genius he was bored from life. Kisame could bring up endless theories about why then again maybe it was Itachi's nature. The members of Akatsuki had even an ongoing bet on what Itachi would be interested in, the only winner until now was Zetsu who had realized his over protectiveness of Sasuke. That precisely was the reason why Kisame gaped as he realized the look Itachi had been giving to this Naruto and quickly scooted out his cell phone and texted the other Akatsuki members. **Somethin' Itachi would be interested in: Uzumaki Naruto. I win, expectin' my one year of free drinks.** He did not bother to look at the replies; he knew for sure that he was right.

"Uzumaki Naruto." Naruto had fearfully said his own name, what the hell was wrong with this family? One demon-spawn child and now a very fearsome demon, no definitely a demon lord... Hey wait then that Sasuke kid was not demon spawn, he would be now known as the demonic little brother. Naruto nodded to himself proud of his accomplishment.

"I think that he hurt his head too." the Demonic Little Brother murmured.

"I heard that..."

"Thankfully no problem with his ears..." Kisame added with a chuckle.

At that moment Itachi's cell phone beeped and the man peered to the contents of the message which arrived.

"So now your brother came..."

Sasuke grunted.

"I am sure that you are all very busy..."

Kisame stifled a laugh; the blond was trying to get rid of them wasn't he? He was sure that it was Zetsu giving a very brief summary on Uzumaki Naruto. Kisame allowed his eyes to inspect the elder Uchiha. For the shortest moment he realized that Itachi grinned but after a heartbeat it was gone. Kisame grinned widely, he was so getting that one year of free bear.

"And have stuff to do..." You know like scaring old ladies, stealing candies from children or dominating the world Naruto added inwardly.

"Yes we seem to have a business. How much do you know about the incident?" Itachi asked locking his eyes with Naruto, finally putting his cellphone in his pocket.

Naruto inwardly again whimpered, was there an amount of what he should know? Should he fake amnesia? Should he just runaway screaming bloody murder? Maybe he should just stay here do an imitation of Gaara and say nothing.

"He knows that Kin intended to kill me along with other two people, blaming the Uchiha." Sasuke deadpanned.

Naruto paled slightly, not even Gaara glares can get him out of this one.

"Then we need to assure his silence." Itachi said thoughtfully.

Naruto's eyes widened, his eyes quickly identified the place his stuff were.

"I... ahaha I am known as a very good secret keeper..."

"That is not very reassuring dobe." Sasuke stated.

"Look I might not look as such but I am a graduate student in Psychology, I know how to keep a secret!" Naruto fumed, his fear seemed to vanish.

"Ho... is that so... Then I would have a proposal Uzumaki-kun..." Itachi spoke calmly but Kisame could see that his usually disinterested friend had a glint in his eyes, he would rarely see this when Itachi had just found a way to persuade (trap Kisame would say) his little brother.

"Proposal?" Naruto suspiciously looked at Itachi.

"Kin, she was Sasuke's nanny." Naruto's brow furrowed. "And since she is not fit to be his nanny anymore I find myself in need of someone who would be able to take care of Sasuke. Someone who could get along with him, and knows how to communicate with people, hence a child."

"No, no wait. I am not certificated to look after a child." Naruto impatiently said.

"You seem to be gettin' along with him juuust fine." Kisame smirked as he spoke. "Far better than any of Sasuke's nannies."

Both Sasuke and Naruto glared at Kisame.

"Also there is the fact that you risked your life to protect my otouto, quite what I need actually." Itachi gave the tiniest smile.

"He is dumb but not as bad as the ones before." Sasuke added.

And it was at that moment Naruto realized that they were deadly serious.

Umino Iruka had always been a worrywart, the things he could be worried were endless. From simple bills to probable terrorist attacks... hence he was nicknamed as the mother hen. His patients were like his children but among them there was one whom he had later on adopted. The first time he met Naruto was because an orphanage asked for his assistance with a problem child. Naruto was a flamboyant boy around eleven, he would play pranks on everyone and had complications with socializing. Iruka had dearly loved the boy on first sight; the boy was clever, unexpected and deserved to be loved more than anyone. After a few sessions with Naruto, Iruka realized that he nearly doted on the child and that he was waiting for their session. Later things got harder as he decided to adopt the child but in the end Iruka won the custody of Naruto. Ever since that day Iruka did all he could for his son. And Naruto did everything for his dad as he would proudly say. Needless to say Iruka was proud that his son decided to follow his footsteps and he thought that no other job would suit the blond anymore. Iruka was a simple man but somehow after he got Naruto he started to believe that he could do anything and this was something very Uzumaki he guessed.

As Iruka drank his afternoon tea the telephone rang. Iruka left the tea and walked to the phone, it was Naruto probably he got angry at his roommate, Neji or even Akamaru and was calling his father to vent. As he looked at the number of the dialer his smile faltered a bit, he did not know this number and picked the phone up.

"Hello Umino Iruka speaking."

"Umino-san..." The woman started softly and by the end of her speech Iruka had already dressed took everything needed and was about to get out.

"I will be right there." He said and closed the phone right after leaving his house at once.

As I said before Umino Iruka was a very worried person but not even he had imagined his son getting shot at a market robbery.

Naruto fidgeted as the three demons patiently waited for his answer. Naruto cleared his throat.

"I don't think I am right for the job."

"I think the opposite... you are perfect for this job." Itachi retaliated.

"Hnn..." Apparently the demonic little brother aka Sasuke agreed.

"He'll be just right." Kisame helpfully (not!) added.

"I..."

"Please Uzumaki-kun at least consider before refusing." Itachi said calmly. "It is a hard task I am aware of that but you will be paid handsomely."

"You did mention somethin' like lookin' for a job kiddo here is the chance." Kisame smiled.

Naruto pondered about it quickly: working with the Uchiha's would mean high payment; also it could look nice in his CV... But the people he would work with gave him the demon vibe and he did not want to get shot again.

"Dobe just say yes." Sasuke said in a bored tone.

But Naruto was never one who would give up on a challenge. He could at least try working for them and if things did not work he could always quit, it was not like they were going to spirit him away was it. He also needed to write his thesis and as much as he did not want to admit it working as a nanny could give him more time to finish his thesis. Not to underline that he would be paid more than an average job.

Naruto sighed.

"Well... I'll think about it..."

"I hope that you will come to accept it Uzumaki-kun as I said you are a perfect candidate for this task and I would hate to hear your rejection." Itachi spoke softly.

But Naruto unconditionally shivered. Did the man try to mean that he would not accept a rejection?

At that fateful moment the door sprang open and a breathless man ran to his side. From the way pineapple hair style and the scar over his nose Naruto spoke.

"Dad?" He smiled. "Don't wo-"

"I was so worried!" Iruka loudly exclaimed. "Are you alright? How about your wounds? What happened?"

Naruto grinned.

"Don't worry dad, I just got mixed up with..."

"A robbery." Kisame finished his sentence.

Iruka looked at the remaining people in the room.

"Are you from the police? I know Naruto, he would never do such a thing." Iruka stood before Naruto defensively.

"Dad no... The child over there is a boy I saved... from getting shot and well..." Naruto scratched his head "I kinda well shot someone in defense." He then added quickly "From her hand she is alive and here Uchiha-san proposed a job to me."

"Shot? Defense? Job?" The last word was asked incredulously.

"Hai... if you would let me..." Itachi waited for Iruka to say his name.

"Umino... Umino Iruka."

"Umino-san I will explain the details to you."

And Iruka listened silently, the name Uchiha granted powers Naruto thought, powers of persuasion and intimidation. At the end of the tale Iruka seemed speechless but Naruto could see the approving look he gave to the boy.

"Well... I am glad that Naruto is alright but he should decide whether he wants this job or not. What a coincidence that you were also happen to be looking for a nanny. Naruto is quite good with children he interned at an orphanage." Iruka smiled.

Naruto groaned as he saw Itachi glancing at him, he intentionally had left that part out.

"What do you think... I should probably accept it eh dad?"

Iruka placed his hand on Naruto's shoulder.

"You should do whatever you want to do Naruto."

Naruto sighed, working for the Uchiha's would be troublesome as Temari's boyfriend was fond of saying but they pay would be good. And Iruka had approved, he could see the way the brunette had looked at him full of pride.

"I will accept." He was defeated; from all grounds he had been brilliantly defeated.

Itachi's eyes showed mirth.

"I am glad that you accept the job Uzumaki-kun."

Naruto sighed again but gave a huge grin.

"I will do my best to tame Sasuke."

Sasuke snorted.

"As if." He said grumpily.

"I think that kiddo'll do well." Kisame spoke with a smirk.

Iruka unaware of the demonic powers of these men smiled happily to his son, who felt as he had just been caged and would be executed tomorrow.

But Naruto if anything was stubborn as hell, and he would make sure that he would overcome this demonic family at any cost.

**oldAN:** Well many many things happened and here I update one year late... Sorry but there was graduation, work, family, my cat and well I kind of slacked off I guess. At any rate I hope that this chapter (albeit short) will make up for my laziness

**AN:** I think I must pat myself in the back as I was able to post chapters weekly. YAY. But since these chapters are only edited maybe I shouldn't… Anyway, I am very grateful for the favs and follows and reviews I've got. Thank you; you guys make me want to actually muster up confidence, stubbornness and creativity to finish the story. **TechnoAngelprincess**: Hahaha yeah "buy some milk they said, it will be fun they said." Currently Naruto is not overly fond of the situation. **MyLiloITAChIassasin**: Thanks! I hope it will get even more interesting. **Sousie: **Well here is the next chapter, hope you like it. ^^ **Sachiel Angelo**: I know but given the circumstance he will only be dazed for a short while and get himself into the lovable Naruto Mode.


	4. Spooky Hunch

Inuzuka Kiba, Haruna Sakura, Hyuuga Neji entered the hospital room after being guided by Iruka. The four of them, including Naruto, had been friends since high school, somehow the energetic blond had bonded them all and even after going to separate universities, they had never severed their ties. Sakura had become a talented surgeon, Neji was more interested in literature and he was an assistant professor at the same university Naruto was studying and Kiba himself was a striving dog breeder. There was a usual fifth of their group but he was not present at the moment. Iruka after notifying them had gone off to buy ramen for Naruto so they were alone at the moment. But even in all of these years of knowing the blond they were not expecting what they encountered.

"Naruto. Sakura, Neji and Ki-" Iruka said only to be cut off with a flying pillow to pass right through him and smack itself right on Kiba's face.

"Wha…" Kiba tried to say.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Naruto's yell caused many things unknown to them, an elderly patient suffered a minor stroke, the babies in the hospital started to wail at the same time, the secretly dating nurse and doctor jumped away during their private time in the janitors room, and finally caused patients in the psychiatry ward to believe that maybe just maybe the end of the world had come. It took three cups of ramen, one secretly brought beer and seven chewing gums to calm the boy, who then related what had happened on that fateful day after persuading Iruka he would not try to strangle, burn, drown (with a spoonful of horrible hospital jelly) or maim Kiba anymore.

"And that is my very long Saturday story." Naruto drank a big sip from his beer using a straw.

"I am sorry man if I had known I wouldn't have given Akamaru your milk." Kiba said apologetically, Naruto shot him a glare.

"It does seem tough..." Sakura spoke quietly. "But seriously why are you drinking beer in the hospital!"

"But Sakura-chaaan..." Naruto whined as Sakura grabbed the beer from him.

"Your wound is not fatal or anything but you should not drink alcohol Naruto." Sakura commented.

Neji nodded at the far corner of the room and decided to speak for the first time.

"I know this Uchiha Itachi, we studied in the same university."

"Neeh neeeh? Isn't he a demon? You believe me don't you Neji?"

"Actually he was more of a distant person; he excelled in all of his classes."

Kiba tilted his head.

"Why would someone like him want anything from you Naruto? Uchiha's, well, nearly rule over the economy. He could get anyone he wanted."

Naruto pouted.

"Well actually Naruto would be the best candidate... He knows how it is to have no parents and as I heard neither does the Uchihas'." Sakura said thoughtfully.

"Really?" Naruto seemed surprised.

"Don't you know about the big fire Naruto, it happened about six years ago. The Uchiha estate burned to the ground, killing Uchiha Fugaku and his wife."

"I remember that too, the Uchiha's were close friends of Uncle Hiashi." Neji stated, the Hyuuga's were like the Uchiha's of the literature world so this information did not surprise Naruto much.

"Heh maybe it was a good thing that I accepted their offer then..." Naruto seemed solemn, even though the Uchiha brothers felt like they were from hell it must have been tough for them.

Sakura giggled.

"Of course it is!" Her voice became fan girlish a habit she would never be able to get rid of. "Do you know how many women would just die to only meet Uchiha Itachi? He is so dreamy..."

Kiba laughed.

"I wouldn't know about that nor would Naruto or Neji..."

Naruto chewed his lower lip.

"Well I was kind of panicked so I did not well... in your terms Sakura check him out. And why would I check out a guy nonetheless?!"

Neji snorted.

"Just give in to her fantasies Naruto she is already lost to us..."

It was true, Haruno Sakura was lost in her La-la Land and it didn't look like she intended to return yet. Three boy's unconsciously shivered, this was one of the most fearful aspects of Sakura; one, she usually was grumpy when she returned back from her dream land and two, if anyone bothered her girly daydream time Sakura herself turned into a Hannya causing total annihilation. All of the boys looked at each other; Kiba sneakily snatching the beer from Sakura returned it to Naruto. Neji quietly sighed and Naruto widely grinned as took another large sip from the beer.

Sasuke glanced at his brother curiously.

"What is the problem otouto?" Itachi asked as he drove his car not making eye contact with his brother.

"Nothing." Sasuke crossed his arms.

"Otouto, believe it or not I am quite aware that you have been glancing at me ever since we left the hospital. Now would you mind telling me what the problem is?"

Sasuke gave the tiniest smile.

"Aniki... Isn't that dobe interesting?"

Itachi chuckled at his brother.

"Why would you think so?"

"He said weird things before he took the shot for me." Sasuke said thoughtfully. "And I think that I enjoy mocking him to get a reaction."

"I realized that. What did he exactly say otouto?" Itachi sounded curious.

Sasuke smirked.

"He was adamant that those three were wrong to attack a child no matter what my family could have done. Oh and the stare he gave me when I took the gun was hilarious."

Itachi frowned.

"I don't remember teaching my adorable nine year old otouto to use guns actually."

"Well that adorable nine year old brother of yours was so scared that he did whatever he could to survive." Sasuke slightly fidgeted. "It was horrible aniki, I only wanted to scare her but when the dobe got shot my finger pulled the trigger reflexively."

Itachi extended his right hand to pat his little brother's spiky hair.

"I am sorry Sasuke, I should have been more careful." His voice was full of regret.

"Aniki, don't be an idiot. Just make sure it never, ever happens again."

Itachi smiled lightly.

"And tell me about the dobe, you probably know his whole biography don't you?"

Sasuke's grin was wide.

"Well first and foremost he was an orphan, Umino-san is his foster father."

"Hnn... Obviously, they don't even look similar."

"His parents seem unknown but I believe further investigations will prove fruitful." Itachi continued. "He is 20 years old, graduated from psychology one year ago. Has been a postgraduate student for one year. His high school grades are barely above average but his university grades are superb. Also no criminal records, no other kind of reports or anything. In other means he is clean in that aspect."

"Is that all?" Sasuke asked curiously.

"No, he has been taking wing tsun course in highschool, before he worked in a ramen shop, interned in Suna Hospital whose director is his friend's father. His social environment is one of those chain ones, and currently he lives alone and is single."

Sasuke let out a smirk.

"Well I doubt that any girl would want to date the dobe..."

Itachi looked unfazed.

"He seems like an interesting fellow, don't you agree Sasuke?"

"Hnn."

"I will take that as a yes."

"You seem to be interested aniki." Sasuke glanced at Itachi trying to hide his mischievous expression.

Itachi let a smile adorn his face.

"Hnn."

Iruka scratched his head nervously. On his other hand stood the bane of all existence, the destroyer of humanity and the most dangerous weapon ever known to man. The machine made a small beeping voice -a warning that it's battery was low- and Iruka jumped in his seat, the cellphone which was only good when he wanted to call Naruto seemed so demonic at the moment. Sitting in the park of the hospital Iruka gathered his courage and pressed a button, leading the phone to his ear. After a millisecond he pressed another button and resumed staring at the phone. A nurse in the corner shook her head in pity thinking 'Poor man he must be a mental patient, he has been doing this for an hour now...'.

After a few moments Iruka again pressed the button and held the phone, this time waiting for the other party to open, maybe He would not open the phone; infact this could become his new mantra repeated over and over again. Iruka as it was revealed early was known to be a mother hen, but there were some who were even more worried than he was, or should he say that there was someone who would wreak revenge because Naruto was hurt. Iruka normally would have kept this silent but he knew that hiding from him would make things even worse. Suddenly the dialing beep was gone; Iruka forced himself to smile even though the other party could not see it.

"Hello, how are you?" His voice albeit a little shaky was fine.

"What happened?" The monotone and low voice demanded an answer.

"Ah... Well, everything is fi-"

"What happened?" Damn, he must have picked up something.

Iruka's smile cracked.

"Ahem... you would probably want to know that Naruto is fine before anything..."

"What happened to Naruto?" The voice now had dropped a few octaves and was certainly what any sane being would call murderous.

Iruka gulped.

"He has been shot."

A minute of silence descended between the two speakers.

"Where?"

"Konoha Hospital. But listen to-"

"I'll be there as soon as possible."

Iruka sighed.

"You don't have to..."

The call was ended.

"...worry."

Iruka placed the phone in his pocket. Again he was worried.

Kisame had been enjoying his life, ignoring the pestering looks of his coworkers.

"I think it is time you tell us who this Uzumaki Naruto is, if you do not want to pay for your own beer, un." The blond, slim of the coworkers said grumpily.

"I know who he is..." The man next to him said, his only distinguishable characteristic was that he had pulled the hood of his shirt so that his face was hidden. "Apparently he is a 20 year old Japanese boy whom Itachi asked me for his life details."

The blond man sighed then started to make exaggerated gestures as he spoke.

"I get that Zetsu but what does he have to do with Itachi, un? Why would he be of interest to him?"

"Maybe he found the boy on the street, trying to make money." Another coworker Kakuzu chimed in.

"Or maybe the will of Jashin was at work!" This time Hidan spoke with his one hand showing the air, actually the ceiling.

"Konan, why are we even here?" Nagato, the one with many piercings asked to his girlfriend.

"I want to know." Konan sent a look of defiance to her lover, and every man knows that when a female wants to know she will stop at nothing to learn.

Nagato sighed and turned to the blond man who was between shouting and crying.

"Calm down Deidara, he is just waiting so that you will get riled up."

Deidara sat down with a pout.

"He is right Deidara, I am sure that he will tell us now if he wants to live." The redhead next to him spoke roughly. "But I would like to tell that I have heard of an Uzumaki."

Konan's eyes widened.

"From who Sasori?"

"My cousin, this Uzumaki Naruto is his idol."

"Kankuro?" Konan seemed disturbed.

"No Gaara."

Konan's nose twitched.

"Well he did work at your uncle's hospital and my resources said that they were close." Zetsu said.

"Then is he a serial killer?!" Deidara screamed, he would never forget the day he met the youngest of Sabaku's.

At this point Kisame laughed, or cackled would be more accurate, he cackled maniacally.

"Doubt that. He is jus' a regular kiddo."

All of the crew stood silently, waiting for him to continue on.

"Who saved Sasuke kiddo's life today."

"Saved?" All of the crew spoke at once and glared at each other.

"Kin, the latest babysitter, she was working for the old snake. She and two other nipple suckers tried to kill Sasuke. An' that Uzumaki kiddo was there by chance, he saved the brat and got shot."

Kisame looked at the others and decided to continue.

"Sasuke stayed with th' kiddo and then Itachi came and he asked the kiddo..."

"What did he ask?!" Deidara was fuming.

"…To become the nanny of Sasuke."

The group looked at each other and laughed at the same time.

"And I thought that it was something serious, un."

"No free beer for Kisame." Konan added.

"Wait wait!" Kisame licked his lips nervously. "He had the Look."

All laughter ceased. They all knew the Look, Itachi Uchiha never had the Look. While normal human beings had it when they were attracted to someone, Itachi never sported it on anyone.

"Y'know the Look. And he didn't even wait an extended investigation... did he Zetsu?"

Zetsu nodded.

"Kisame is right, my report was very short. Usually Sasuke's nannies are investigated for a few week before Itachi can be content."

Nagato interfered.

"Maybe it was quick because he protected Sasuke?"

Konan snorted.

"No, they are right; at least he would have waited for one day or a better report."

All of the Akatsuki crew, at least all which were there looked at each other.

"So that's why he was uninterested in the fine ladies I tried to hook him up with..." Kakuzu said thoughtfully.

Konan hit the man on the head.

"No that's not why we are looking at each other you idiot."

The other nodded.

"We need to make sure that Itachi gets what he wants..." Deidara grinned.

"…Or at least help them." Sasori added sliding his arm around Deidara's waist.

"Why do you all think that he is gay for this Uzumaki?" Nagato asked in horror.

("Because it is a shounen ai fanfiction." The author said from her dark corner, though her answer was heard by none.)

"Just a hunch." All of them spoke at the same time again. And this is how the Akatsuki crew decided to get active in the game of who will help Itachi the most in his conquest to get Uzumaki with a reward of a life time beer.

**AN: **Well I think I am a few days late but I had no access to computer honest. Thank you all for your interest in my story, I hoping to keep you entertained**.**

**ash2000ice:** Thank you! I am and will =) **TechnoAngelprincess:** Haha yeah they are demonic indeed. ^^ **sousie:** Yeah but he will give them run for their money. **777angeloflove:** Thanks! I sorta aim for that**. Darklife21:** Gaara? Soon. And Iruka is always motherly awesome like that. **Sachiel Angelo: **Well gotta admit Gaara is one of my favorites, I couldn't just leave him out. And thank you =). **mangaevil101:** Yay! Thanks! **Zakudeath:** It took me three days to stop laughing about Kisame and the bears (and I will not correct that mistake), also on the previous version (this is the last one I wrote before reupdating) the intro to this chapter was way different but your review really inspired me, so I hope you like it. =)


	5. Sandy, Fluffy and Creepy Interlude

Sasuke Uchiha was a genius among his peers. At age of one he was able to speak clearly. At age of three he had mastered both reading and writing. At age of five he had been able to put anyone other than his brother in their place by his exceptionally good verbal attacks. To the point he was all that was expected from an Uchiha heir. There was nothing but nothing he could not understand or comprehend if he wanted to.

This brings us to the point where he is looking completely confused and distressed.

Sasuke, after having a good rest in his house while his brother made sure the nanny room was cleansed from Kin, decided to visit the blond dobe in the hospital while eating breakfast with his brother. He was sure that Itachi had made sure that no one would be able sneak into the hospital where Naruto stayed, so he believing that there would be no harm in visiting him, he visited the dobe daily. His intentions were to make sure that the dobe would not escape them while unsupervised and well it is the idiot's job to take care of him isn't it? Itachi being the kind and generous brother he is had agreed and advised the little one to buy ramen for the wounded dobe. Sasuke was not surprised by his brother knowledge in these matters; Itachi Uchiha always learned whatever he wanted to learn. So Sasuke had their driver make a detour and gotten a few ramen just to appease the dobe. As his brother always said appeased idiots were easier to manipulate. So leaving Suigetsu, his bodyguard, at the entrance of the hospital he entered.

Sasuke should have realized the terrified looks people had when he entered the hospital, or the way the receptionist stuttered when he stated which room he was going to visit. One thing that should have bothered him the most was the fact that no female had made cute noises at him or tried to physically pet, molest, him. But with thoughts of teasing the dobe in mind and thinking that the people were weird because of the security measures Itachi had probably taken, he made his happy way to the dobe's room. His hand grabbed the door and opened it.

And this is the point where the genius of Uchiha's was staring what's in front of him, unable to comprehend.

The dobe was lying in his bed, obviously, and there was a red thing on him who was glaring at Sasuke with very evil eyes.

"Ah there is the little demonic brother." Naruto said "Heya teme you visiting me again?"

The red thing hissed at Sasuke much like cats do when you piss them off.

Sasuke just stared at them, who was this red thing on his dobe like he owned him?

"Gaara, hissing to the people is not a nice behavior." Naruto said as he petted the head of the red haired monster.

The red thing blinked then rubbed his head to Naruto's chest.

"What… is… that… thing?" Sasuke finally gritted through his teeth.

"This is Gaara." Was Naruto's nonchalant answer "And you are even a bastard to him. Poor Gaara."

Said poor Gaara gave a very blank, disturbing, look to the genius and made a small whine noise.

"Don't worry Gaara, I will protect you from his demonic ways." Naruto seemed to think that the creature hugging him needed any protection.

Sasuke gathered himself and entered the room.

"Hn… I brought you ramen." He said as he set the ramen to the table next to his bed and froze for a second.

The table was full of ramen cups, 14 if you could count as fast as Sasuke could, and the Gaara creature's eyes glanced back to Sasuke with an amused glint.

"Ramen!" Naruto shined at that moment. "I could always have another one."

Naruto delicately picked the red thing and sat him on the bed while extending a hand to the ramen which Sasuke held with glittery, shiny eyes.

If Sasuke was not an Uchiha he would have ran away from the glare he had been receiving like that Hyuuga girl. Sadly for the Gaara creature he was an Uchiha so he gave a smirk to the red head while he extended the Ramen bowl to Naruto.

Naruto grabbed the cup and started to eat the poor noodles with such haste that the bowl was empty in seconds.

"Ah Ichiraku Ramen is still the best!" Naruto said with a final slurp.

"Your eating habits are horrible dobe."

Naruto smiled sheepishly.

"They are not." The red head said monotonously.

"They are." Sasuke glared at the boy in front of him.

"Not." The boy jumped from the bed to glare even harder.

"Are!"

"Not."

"Are!"

"Not."

"What is going on here?" A female voice cut in.

Sasuke's glare turned to the interferer. A woman with blonde hair tied in four pony tails and green eyes had entered the room.

"Gaara you should not argue with your friends in Naruto's hospital room." She said in a chiding tone.

"Maa maa, it's no problem they seem to get along actually Temari." Naruto piped in.

Sasuke and Gaara glared at each other and hmph'ed while crossing their arms and turning to different sides.

* * *

Temari looked at the scene in front of her. She knew that the little brother had an obsession with her best friend. Until now he would chase anyone who dared to talk with the blond, even once had made a Kankurou cry because Kankurou in hopes of calming Gaara had made a Naruto puppet yet Gaara had believed that Kankurou was trying to get the blond away from him. Yet the child who seemed to be at the same age as Gaara was holding down his fort very well. Temari was a smart woman, there was only one person who would enter Naruto's room and survive a glare match with her little brother, also the fact that Naruto was her best friend and that she knew all of the kids around him because he was fond of showing their pictures helped her out and finally the information that for the six days Naruto had stayed at the hospital one certain boy visited everyday (courtesy of Naruto blabbering).

"You are Sasuke Uchiha I presume?" She said with a smile.

"Hn…"

Temari's smile widened, definitely the boy Naruto talked about from the robbery.

"I am Sabaku Temari and the red is Sabaku Gaara my little brother." She entered the room with a nylon bag in her hand. "Nice meeting you, Naruto talked a lot about you and your brother."

"He did not." Was Gaara's reply as he sat on the side of Naruto's bed.

"C'mon Gaara, I did because you guys wanted to learn how I got shot." Naruto said with a smile.

"Okay." Gaara seemed calmer and Temari could spot a small smile on his face, only visible to the ones know him very well.

"I am sorry Temari you had to come from your excavation because of me." Naruto's smile turned apologetic.

"Non-sense, apparently Gaara picked up the phone and he nearly demolished the dig house. I can just imagine how he scared poor Iruka." She placed the ramen cups into the nylon bags. "And I couldn't just leave my friend alone could I? Shame that none of Sakura's calls reached me."

Temari and Kankurou were archaeologists, well Kankurou was technically an anthropology student but that is only a minor detail, and currently they were part of a team excavating in Suna. Gaara had to come with them because no nanny or human being could survive the encounter, and he had seemed interested in the archaic weapons they had found.

Sasuke chose that moment to pull a chair next to the blonde's bed and sit on it.

Gaara's eyes narrowed.

"Well I feel bad that you had to leave there."

"Don't worry about it." Temari tied the nylon bag and scouted a chair. "So tell me Uchiha Sasuke, I hear that Naruto is to become your nanny. Is that true?"

Sasuke gave a smirk to Gaara he had been glaring.

"Yes, brother was most impressed by the dobe."

Temari's keen, and troublesome Shikamaru would fondly say, eyes caught the slight paling on the blond lying on the bed before he jumped into some very Narutoesque motions.

* * *

Itachi had been in a very good mood. This was rare for the stoic Uchiha, only happened when Sasuke had accomplished something. Or when he had gotten hold of an exceptionally good deal. He would have preferred to keep his good mood for a long time yet fate had a different plan for him. The different plan aka his wild bunch of friends were currently residing in his house. They had met each other in high school, with smaller additions to the group in university, namely Obito, Sasori and Kakuzu, they had reached to their state today. Akatsuki, Yahiko once called their group; he was a bit obsessed with dawns as a traveler and usually was absent from their meetings since he could be found in the weirdest places of the world. They were a tight bunch, entering the group entailed more than just dating one or befriending one. Deidara would always say something like the person who entered the group had to have the same wavelength. Kisame would say that any person who wanted to enter an initiation but no one really listened to him because the last time it actually involved something about world domination by bears. To the point, his merry (!) troupe of friends had made their business to liven up the nannies room for Uchiha's newest nanny, namely one Uzumaki Naruto.

Itachi had no idea how his friends had found out about Naruto, untrue Itachi being a genius and an observer knew that Kisame's mouth was looser than a… scratch that nothing was looser than Kisame's mouth he was like a gossiping housewife, but here they were with lots of boxes and adorning the pale cream room with useless items. Itachi could only guess what kind of horrendous item Yahiko would add after he had returned from his latest trip.

"Why does he need pink fluffy slippers?" He managed to ask a happy Obito.

Obito gave him a huge grin.

"It's heartwarming, heartwarming!"

Itachi's eyebrow rose slightly.

"And why does he need a painting of elephants dancing over an explosion."

Deidara gave a slight huff and stomped his foot.

"Because its art! Not my favorite kind but no one should be left without proper art, un."

"I told you that the mannequin would have been better." Sasori intervened.

"Your mannequins are too dull; he needs something with style, cool and with a small amount of bang! Un!"

Hidan placed a small altar to the corner of the room.

"And maybe he will also need some praying, that little fucker. Right?"

The others minus Itachi and Konan shook their heads.

"You need to paint the walls, though it's cheaper if you make him do it." Kakuzu who had brought nothing but his counsel said calmly.

Konan poked him on his arm.

"Are you an idiot? We are livening up this place so that the nanny will not be scared of the blandness of this room."

Itachi gave the woman a glare.

"Haha… um well he might have different tastes than yours?" Konan started to sweat a little.

"Konan is true, Naruto-san's favorite color is orange and his house seemed to be… lively." Zetsu piped in.

That guaranteed a few seconds of silence from the crew.

"I will never be able to get used to your creepiness Zetsu." Obito said as he pulled a curtain from its place.

The silence continued for a few more seconds, no one wanted to agree with Obito out loud because Zetsu was very touchy.

"At least you can actually change that ancient bed." Nagato said breaking the awkward silence.

Itachi glanced at the bed which was being filled by small bears, left from the last initiation he hazarded, by a guilty looking Kisame.

"Hnn."

"Don't just mutter you sick son of a-" Hidan started…

…and was promptly cut out by Kisame who had stuffed one bear to his face.

Itachi looked around the room and picked up a book on the computer table.

"And pray tell me why does he need shounen ai mangas?"

* * *

In a faraway corner of the city a man was walking towards a destination in quick precise steps. He sported round glasses and tied his silver hair just at his nape. Unlike the most of the citizens of this part of the town he wore a simple looking two piece suit and looked like he did not belong there at all. Interestingly enough no one dared to even glance at the man who made his way to a seemingly abondoned nightclub building. The denizens of the lowtown part of Konoha would never even dream of entering the building unless they were permitted. And even then they wouldn't do it gladly. The man entered the abandoned building continuing on with his slow stride. The building used to be all colorful and extravagant, but now pale purple and grey dominated the walls. In the middle where there used to be a stage stood nothing, and the chairs around it seemed to be scattered.

"Orochimaru-sama?" The man asked to the darkness.

A malevolent chuckle answered him from the darkness.

"Kabuto, how bold to venture in here to notify me of the failed assassination." Orochimaru's sneer could be felt from his voice.

Kabuto forced down a gulp.

"It was your idea to use Kin as well as the others." He said his voice slightşy shaking.

"And how are they?"

"The other two have been eliminated, Kin however will take some time..." Kabuto allowed himself to make a dramatic pause and checked his cellphone which made a small vibration "... like now."

Kabuto stylishly closed his cellphone and placed it back to his pocket.

"What is more interesting however is that they will hire an Uzumaki Naruto as a nanny, who saved the boy at the super market."

Orochimaru let a snort roll gracefully out of his mouth.

"Uzumaki? It has been ages since I heard that name." He sounded amused. "He is of no consequence anymore though."

"What is our next move Orochimaru-sama?"

He was only answered with a laugh that would make a saner man run away in fear.

* * *

**AN:** Well this took a while I have debated over about simply making the villains as silly... ahem... fun as the main characters but decided maybe just maybe I could live with some serious bad guys. Anyway from now on rather than weekly I am aiming for 1.5 or 2 weekly updates since work and RL decided to get very dramatic. Thank you all for supporting me though I will not let this go. ^^

Replies: **Juubihost** (for some reason I am unable to write your name silly FF)** :** Mission accomplished hope you like it. =) **Sachiel Angelo:** Well ah at least there is a new chapter? Well mysterious guy puzzle solved, as for who is Naruto? He is the number one most surprising character that's what he is. **777angeloflove:** Haha thanks ^^ not very perfect i guess but thank you really. **TechnoAngelprincess**: Yeah well Kiba deserved it... sort of. hahaha **sousie:** Well here is a new update yay! **Zakudeath**: Well the doctor wanted me to say that its not his fault it is uat's fault and he really wanted that relationship to be serious, however currently he is comforting the psychologist who believes that the world will end. Well I hope you liked the Gaara part, did I ever mention that he is my fav? I hope that I am able to do him justice in this story. And Gaara wont be all cutey to Itachi either but that showdown is for another chapter. Yea I like Sasuke better when he is a child, however after the last chapter I guess I like him more. Thank you, I hope this chapter whets your appetite as they say. =)


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